Sunday, April 10, 2011

Hot tamale baby!

Why isn't the baby moving as much as she was? It's freaking me out!

The honest answer is my uterus has doubled in size in the last 4 weeks, so she's hanging in a new and numb-er area. She's up behind my belly button and not as sensitive. She is freer to roll around. She sure sat on my blander a lot yesterday.

Just three more days until we meet the *new* midwife. Seeing her ultrasound pics don't make me go "WOW! This baby is healthy and active!" They are static skeletal clips that don't she pudgy hands and feet and all the good stuff that makes an average person think "healthy baby." ... though she does look like she has all the bones and miraculous makings of the little hands that become big and strong. Hands that can open jars and wave hello and blow kisses. The feet I didn't see clearly. Hopefully she as feet? She has legs and arms and ribs and a spine and all the elemental makings of a happy child.

Here I am getting closer to the date and closer to the baby and day dreaming about looking into my baby's eyes and hearing her grunts and kissing her hands. I want to wipe her little butt and hear her scream and squawk because she is coldy. And I'll pull her close to my skin and warm her up and wear her close. Listen to her heart as she is curled up like a little froggy.

Oh boy do I need this appointment to go wonderfully. I want her to say, "It all looks good down there!" I need her to say, "Yep, you are right on track and this baby is on her way to a healthy life."

Until then, worries don't possess me like I know that they could. I will be driven mad if I let them. Dear God and Lady of La Leche watch over the health of my baby and my body and bring me good news.

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