Friday, June 17, 2011

Le sigh.... Overwhelmed and It's Probably Because I'm Crazy.

Kris doesn't think like me. I have things bouncing off every surface in my head. Like flubber. Remember that movie? No. Go watch the trailer to see Robin Williams battle dancing, growing, bouncing green goo. Great movie. So back to what I was saying... what WAS I saying?....

Oh yeah things. Things to do. Last night Kris couldn't go with me to our expectant parent class. And I was worried for him/sad that we couldn't experience that together/overwhelmed that I have yet another thing to tell Kris about. I'm on top of things... I wonder some days if he really is. I know better. I know he's just a reactive person. I'm thinking ahead. He reacts in the moment, so he doesn't even know he's "failing" to help keep me afloat.

That. And last night my class hit me in the face with all the things I have to do that's much more important than things already on my list. Oh. Like preregistering... and putting the carseat in. And oh... getting a pediatrician lined up. Yeah. Overwhelmed to tears.

I'm going to document here all the things bouncing in my head:
  • Car: oil change, put in carseat, change oil
  • Reading: buy kindle cover/light, pay lib fees, check out books, buy books, sell books to book bin, give books to goodwill
  • Gifts: send gift to Katy, buy father's day/Kory gift, bind jesse's quilt (make binding)
  • Shopping: dark socks, supplies for hospital bag, nursing bras/shirts
  • Baby room: set up futon, move shelves, reorganize craft stuff, move cube shelf, clean baby clothes, clean clothe diapers
  • Baby: test strollers, set up crib, move stuff in bedroom for crib, changing pad/covers for dresser
  • Hospital bag: important #s, birth plan, preregister

And boy... the tears could flow to look at my list of non-essentials or cleaning essentials with 25+ things on it. Things like knitting and sewing baby stuff. Things like cleaning the oven/fridge/dishwasher/toaster/microwave. Sad face.

Last big to do? Baby shower invites. They WILL be finished today and be sent tomorrow. I'm just .... le sigh. Overwhelmed. And I know my sister will visit... but I know that doesn't mean help. That means busy. That means chasing a toddler. More tears.

I just have to make a honey do list. Make Kris get on board. Make goals for each week. Make exceptions and lower standards and celebrate small victories.

Of course all I want to do are the non-essentials... but alas. I am afraid the list is sneaking up on me and I need to tackle it. Sigh................. brain off.

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