Exciting things in my life:
- Amazing husband helping with everything and not making me feel guilty for a single thing
- Sister and nephew visiting
- Berry picking!!!
- An fairy tale baby shower with friends/family and so much love for baby Grace
OH! And baby Grace is coming soon!
I dreamt last night. It was, well from about 3am to 8am really. It should have scared the crap out of me. It began when someone looked at my belly and through a translucent spot in my belly, I could see the head and face of my baby. All the veins and a rather blue interior. It looked alien. But I wasn't the least bit scared. I was walking around and she'd move and I'd be happy to just feel her move close to my belly wall so that I could get another translucent peek.
Then I would feel baby, in real life, move her head real low in my pelvis. And I imagined that someone in my dream state that was in and out of sleep told me that just dreaming about a baby and pregnancy means the labor is coming soon.
I have three weeks left. I'm prepared for 5 weeks. But the reality that she is maybe days away is amazing. I'm not scared of the pain or the labor or the delivery right now... I just think about all the picking up I have to do around the house!!! And how little energy I have right now. Well I guess it will all get done right?
There is a lot to be thankful for in my life. The people are the most important though. I get dragged down with the things... well because that's all I really have control over. So for today. I will control my little house and all the things in it in a vein attempt to feel in control of my life and all the unknowns that are barreling down at me. They are so close, these unknowns, that it's like they are too close to my nose and I have to cross my eyes to see them. Even then I can only get an idea of what their shape is... and not even then.
As long as I have my super hero husband who does so much for me and for us out of love, I know the support and him being my rock will carry me through this crazy next few months. Like we are hiking in the wilderness at twilight... it's scary but the dawn will come and so will that beautiful sunrise. And then we will do it all over again.