Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Weird and The Good

Sore arms and elbows. Seriously? Well it could have been a reaction to zumba, but it felt like tennis elbow which is an acute injury of imflamation in the tendions... so more likely than not I didn't pull it and it is my hormones. I have to sleep on my side with these sore suckers!! They are getting better. It comes and goes.

Today I acheived some small part of the living room task to MOVE OUT and move back in. Granted it was 4 square feet. Not a lot. But I got shelves moved and books shuffled through. We took several boxes and bags to Goodwill just from stuff we went through this weekend and that I piled up over the last week. We will also toss/sell/give away at least 15% of the books we own. I see the room more clearly. I am scared at just how WHITE the walls are without art and in the sun, but I am awaiting the guiding light of a serious monster of an inspiration for wall art. I'll cycle through the stuff I have and think the thoughts... less it more.

On that topic. How much does it really cost to have a baby? Well I really want to know that. I have tracked my spending to date. The last 6 months in fact on my Mint.com account. I will continue to do so, while also tracking my expenses on a checklist. I started his checklist today. What baby needs... not just wants... but needs. I saw opportunity to cut some things, but ha! Not much. This list was lllllooooonnnnngggg and I am imagining all that stuff coming into my home on top of my over abundance of junk. Nope. Getting ruthless with my possessions means I'm feeling like I'm embracing the "it's not about me" philosophy that parenthood entails. I want safe. I want open. I want warm. I want welcome. If I'm drownging, I won't feel good. And even with all we've given away, you better believe the time will come again soon to reevaluate and weed down a little more. Just like losing weight. Make to goal of losing 5-10% of our possessions now, then another 5 and another 5 or even do bigger numbers like 15%. Whatever is comfortable. Because I'm not going to keep at it if I'm pressuring myself that it isn't good enough this time. It is good enough. For now. Baby steps.

Speaking of weight. I don't weigh myself often. I log all my food in a journal. I have good days. Bad days. Hungry days. Not so hungry days. But I can look and see if I had enough water. Did I have at least some fruit. The veggies are still killer and I avoid them, but I'll choke down a few salads this week from the farm box. I do know that when I started my pregnancy I was happy with my weight, I lost 6 pounds and then gained them back. Plus one pound. I've gained one pound. Some panic and elation comes from this statement- am I feeding the baby enough? Am I going to have a healthier pregnancy because of my conscious eating? My activity is moderate. I walk, or try to, almost every day. I will be back to zumba and swimming again this week. So yeah, I'm not worried about my weight. I'm not starving myself. I know because I log everything.

So with great baby comes great stomach. I am feeling her protrude! I'll get some great maternity tops soon, but really I don't need maternity outfits because I have this girlfriend I'm borrowing clothes from... it's me. From a year ago. I couldn't fit into my clothes and pants in a good way and now they are fitting with my girth gaining. Some tanks and shirts should do the trick and make me feel sexy too. OLD NAVY!

The girth means baby! It's growing. I can feel it. I know lots of difference in opinion out in the medical world. But I feel the stirrings and know what it is. It's subtle enough to wonder, but as a gastrointestinal connosieur, that my friends is not gas and it's not farts. It's a babe. My little belly goldfish. Just 4 weeks until we learn the gender!! I pray every every every night that this baby is healthy. Which I guess I better go do, while trying to get better sleep (while I can).

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