I'm generally cheerful. For a wheezy coughing mess. That's saying something. The absolute worst part? I'm not as physically active. But that will change soon!
I went to the doctor today. A specialist, an allergist. I was surprised that he gave me so much of his time honestly. I feel like I wait 15-45 minutes most of the time to be rushed out of my appointments. But this guy... right on time and very knowledgeable. He gave me answers to questions I didn't even ask yet. Safety of medications for pregnancy, short term and long term asthma and allergy management, and why I am having a terrible time breathing.
Well, why?
Hormones, for one thing. My autoimmune system is fighting pollen like it's a bug. It has my temperature raised and bronchial tubes inflamed. I get very frustrated when I can't breathe, but I knew earlier this week that it wasn't the normal response to Spring. So off to the doc I went, and boy I'm glad I did.
Secondly, I likely have an increased allergic reaction to pollen- either from adulthood or pregnancy and we won't know until after delivery if this is a lasting thing. Since my mouth goes all itchy from walnuts, the doc said my body thinks that it's pollen... so my body is so awesome! It is actually destroying me from the inside out for "just in case" reasons like- well it looks like pollen so we'll attack it.
Take some short term steroids (which I'd rather not, but they are safe for pregnancy and he promised after a few days of steroids, I'd be back to my old breathing!!). Switch to a different inhaler and voila! I should be better. Not ideal but I gotta breathe right? How can I explain that to a baby? Well, studies show not much ever passes the placenta, so I guess my body can handle some meds like it can handle some pollen.
I can't do things like walk outdoors (pollen) and go swimming or dancing (asthma) because of this issue. First my nasty cold, then my visiting sister, then this road block. I'm hoping to get back to my dancing and swimming and physical activity. It's essential for my morale, my health, circulation, healthy living habits, and strength for preparing the pelvic floor for labor. Oh and recovery. Just some walking each day is helpful.
Another road block I have to work around? Weird watery ankles... Yep. I totally biffed it and skinned my knee the other day. Didn't sprain it, just a little soreness and a skinned knee. I felt rubbery. I flopped down on the ground like a big fish. Brush it off!
So a wheezy fish- but how is Grace? Well she kicks my hand right up by my ribs right now. She can wake me up with her kicking. She can wriggle her way onto my bladder while I walk so that I have that pee feeling. She can make my stomach look like in the movies when an alien is about to burst forth. Doesn't feel alien. It feels cool and makes me happy. Happy that I know she's healthy and kicking. It makes me scared though. Scared for what's to come. Feet in my ribs all summer long! Oh poor me. :P
I just want her in my arms. I want my family. Kris and me and our baby napping. I would be happy to have just that right now. Will she have hair? Light or dark? Will she have blue eyes? Brown? Babies don't typically have hazel or green until later in life. Kris and I are both green. Will she be a 5 pounder? 7 pounder? 9 pounder? Everyone thinks she'll be big. They say so to me. That upsets me... But if they said she'd be small... I'd be offended too. I want a healthy baby. 13 weeks.....
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