This should be fun...
1. Your water will break in the middle of the mall.
I don't visit malls often. Haven't thought a lot about my water breaking... but now that I have... I'll put some towels in the car and by my bed just in case.
2. You won't make it to the hospital on time.
Nope, not worried about this. Actual labor can be up to two weeks long. The hard parts with all the pushing are just toward the end. I'll go to the hospital when I have 3-5 min breaks between contractions... but wait at home until 3 min breaks if everything is looking normal. Don't want to wait around the hospital really... that's a recipe for stress.
3. Natural birth will be WAY more painful than you anticipated.
Ummm... if I focus on pain... it will make it worse. Pain is good. It means I'm alive. There are all levels of pain. I think it will be mind transcending and I believe in the power of my mind/body to overcome and even ride the powerful pain waves. So yes I know it is incomprehensible pain... but I'm purposefully not fixating on it.
4. The epidural won't work.
I hope to not have to think about an epidural. Some women want the help with the pain- you live to the other side right? Either way? Well let's just go the natural route, with the least intervention. Some choose the epidural for the same reason, a healthy baby on the other side. I don't want to be a martyr for pain, but I think an over fixation on the pain is cultural and I think in other cultures it is less stigmatized as bad or wrong.
5. Early labor.
Yes. But I have faith that my baby has a viable chance of survival after this stage at 26 weeks. Not on my mind a lot.
6. You will be in labor for weeks ... months ...
Breathing. Distraction. Peaceful living. The anxiety to get the baby out is going to be there. I may lose all patience I have now. But as far as two weeks... I fear being exhausted to the point that it affects the labor.
7. Your birth won't go as planned (e.g. you want a natural birth, but end up having to have a c-section)
Yes, yes, and yes. I don't want a c-section. But i do want a healthy baby. I trust my midwives. I trust God. I trust there is a reason for everything. I also think that I'm a controlling crazy lady. This is just one place to focus that.
8. You will give birth to an extra baby nobody noticed during all the ultrasounds.
Scared of this? Um... I've thought of it. I am of the mind that an extra baby is an extra gift from God. Scary and excited but not scared.
9. You will give birth to the opposite gender child than you were told you were having and for whom you prepared.
Just another surprise! I love surprises! What a great story to tell! He can wear girl onesies until we get him clothes.
10. The hospital will mix your baby up with someone else's child.
Never going to happen.
11. Your baby won't be pretty.
I hate to be vain... but I know for certain this baby is gonna be beautiful. But just in case... Grace you better be cute!
12. Your baby will be HUGE.
Rowan got huge... wasn't born huge. My vagina is a magic instrument... just like my uterus. I have faith in them.
13. The doctor will be grossed out by your hairy legs/chipped toenail polish.
Nope. My doc has hairy legs. Hairy va-jay-jay.... well... how will they tell with all the gook and goop falling out of my vagina... but I may trim so it doesn't catch on latex gloves.
14. You will poo on the delivery room table.
Maybe I will... a girl has got to go. And they deal with it alllllll the time. That's why health care is so high... right?
15. The baby will have a serious birth defect.
Oh yes, yes, capital YES. But what? Some heart or congenital problem... breathing problem? Gosh... there are too many scary options and yet, I am not dwelling and not going to stress.
16. Dying during childbirth.
Tiny worry, but yes it's there. Pulmonary embolism makes me very scared.
Nope... not really.
18. The car ride home from the hospital.
20. He or she won't like you.
Never crossed my mind. She'll love me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
21. You won't be able to breastfeed.
Maybe thought of it once or twice.
22. Dropping him or her.
Big nope. They aren't as scary to hold as you think.
23. That his or her sibling(s) will feel left out and unloved.
24. They were wrong, you're not pregnant; you just got fat.
Oh this is a for sure. So I don't think about all the crap that is listed above with too much emphasis, which is difficult considering how neurotic I am.
So there you have it. Worries... yeah. But also just thoughts too. I love my body. I believe it's power. For instance, my uterus went from the size of a small tangelo to the size of a watermelon with relative ease and minimal growing pain. And it will go right back to that tiny size. My ovary isn't even connected to my fallopian tube... it just has a billion small clusters and a single capillary that bursts open and little tentacles that reach out and grab the egg. Then a little sperm attacks this egg with all it's might. This baby's face turns from a mushy mess into a face and leaves the cute indent above the lip. Why would I hate the pain? Fear it? It is a gift. What would pleasure be without it? I am a dualist. Why hate and abolish something that makes something else leave a place of equilibrium and balance? Because of fear. Fear just won't own me, and this pregnancy is my chance for myself to prove it.
Fears about parenthood are required. Otherwise I wouldn't be a good parent. Joys, not optional. I think I can live with that.