Thursday, July 14, 2011

35 weeks must be wonderful... right?

I'm happy at 35 weeks. I'm sore in the back and in the ribs. I am sleeping ok some days and napping some voluntarily and frequently my body just shuts down. I am happy with my pregnancy and I fear that it won't stay that way for the last bit. I'm so excited to see her, but I'm dreading leaving the fairy land of pregnancy. She's alive and kicking and I just want that always.

I read this blog. Well, I read probably 100+ blogs, but there is one woman who is also pregnant and due within week of my due date with twin boys. It's wonderful to have someone that's right there too going through similar emotions. She says she's not just as ready to see her boys as her husband is. She would be wonderfully happy to keep them cooking a little longer. She is closing in on the big leap and she's scared. I'm not quite quavering in my boots about the leap into parenthood but I want a LIVE healthy baby and if her staying in my belly for another possible 8 weeks is a sacrifice I'd make for that.

I think this blogger is right too, about how essential it is to be lazy and nappy and eat ice cream and hanging out in theaters and your air conditioned house. But I'm terrible about this. I feel guilt about ice cream, like I've said... every single time I have it. I feel guilt about not walking and working out more. It is an odd internal battle and one I tend to just ignore.

Now I'm napping tons lately, but I catch myself when people ask, "What have you been up to?" and stop myself from saying, "Not a whole lot. Napping. Eating semi-well. Being happy. Taking care of myself." I wonder if they think that I'm lazy or slow or a bad mother.

I've been quietly and secretly enjoying the naps, the lazy days, and thankfully cool July summer days with late night walks and sleep. I read and nap and eat lots of good meals and a few iffy meals. I get some walks in with Kris and he rubs my back and feet and I roll in the languor of our lazy afternoon naps and naked cuddle sessions. We'd never take care of each other this well under other circumstances. I make him special meals. We take time out for dates and movies and lazy evenings. It's not just romance. It's learning to sacrifice for each other. We practice now in preparation for hard months to come.

People told us, and me, to enjoy this romantic period before it's all gone and we'll:
  • never sleep again
  • never relax again
  • never have sex again
  • things will never be the same again
So I'm happy and round and big. I'm not traveling far from home or even leaving home for long. I'm happy being a homebody nestling in with my hubby around our baby. I can lay down when my back aches and eat when my stomach threatens to turn me inside out. I can nap and nod off into space without embarrassment. This honeymoon period is wonderful.... please don't go away... Get that baby off my back and out from my ribs and give me sleep, but other than that I'm honemooning!

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