Friday, December 17, 2010

So now what? Oh yeah. Worry.

The obvious fears of a pregnant woman:
  • health of herself
  • health of her baby
  • will something she do or eat terminate/hurt the pregnancy
  • will she be able to keep weight off and stay healthy
  • does having a previous miscarriage affect this pregnancy
  • is it too early to be excited?
My worries increased the last two days. Am I drinking too much caffeine? Am I being too inactive some days and over active others? At the end of the train of thought I always remind myself that listening to my body is enough. I'm doing enough. At the end of the day, always honor how I feel.

There are very little nigglings of guilt and worry that overcome me. But what I think I have to learn is to be happy. Leave those thoughts of negativity behind and attract good with my good attitude. What will happen will happen. But as far as I know, everything is going to work out perfectly.

I'm not so far along, that I feel "out of the woods." I know that anything could happen at any stage. I guess at this point I'm worried at my chances of a miscarriage. I ate chips today and felt guilty. Not for eating poorly, which I don't do often. I felt guilty for feeding my baby things that aren't good for it. What a silly idea! I'm becoming more neurotic everyday and it's going to raise my blood pressure and keep me from being the healthy mom I want to be.

Back to my Jenny McCarthy book. Hearing about all of her pregnancy symptoms makes me anxious to have them, because maybe if I did I wouldn't lose this baby. So I look forward in my own masochistic way to the severe morning sickness. Since I already have psycho hormonal bitch down, I think I'm half way there.

Baby in me- please grow to be an old and happy person.

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